| Friends Only |
[Nov. 15th, 2009|11:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
Adrina's in Belfast and I'm freakin' out. |
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| OH HAI! |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|07:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  HUNGRIES | ] |
U GOTZ NOMS?! |
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| Filtered to Tristan |
[Oct. 21st, 2009|08:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
Hey, Tristan!
Tomorrow the band is playing in Boston and then we have three days off before hitting New York. We'll be in Canada on Halloween, but apparently the celebrations for Halloween start early here (and we'll be in NYC on D's birthday which is the 29th and she's all ECSTATIC about that) and I remember you said you wanted to experience an American Halloween once.
So. Do you want to!? I can get you a ticket because I have magic powers. I'd love to have you along too. It would be incredible. If you can! |
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| Friends Only |
[Sep. 29th, 2009|09:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
QUINNY IS OKAY!
He's going to be blind for about the next two weeks while he has a patch on his good eye. After that they'll assess it, but they said his vision will still be next to what it was, if not exactly the same. They removed a blood clot and now he's speaking Sylvia Plath poems in all his highness.
He says no one make fun of him for walking like Frankenstein for the next two weeks.
Oh, and his parents are moving here ♥! |
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| To Those in the Know |
[Sep. 24th, 2009|07:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
My hand hurts, but my heart hurts more.
Without Kait...what are we going to do? Fuck, I miss her so much. |
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| To Those in the Know |
[Sep. 16th, 2009|01:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
Amaris sent me a memento of my time with her too. I didn't actually watch it. I broke it in half and threw it away, but I thought I should warn you. Autumn, Crystal, Kay, Carla...she might send something your way, you never know. If she knows your address. Here's hoping she doesn't. Don't give her the time of day, she's just trying to cause more heartache.
I had to see what she sent Thomas, and it was beyond disgusting. Beyond it. I have never seen anything so heartbreaking in my life, and I experienced my own time with her. It made me realise how lucky I've been.
I was homeless for six years and never once did I actually think I would die from hunger. Once I thought I would die from cold, and of course I worried that I might not be able to scrape up enough nutrition down the line and that could endanger my life. But I never thought, "this is it. I'm dying." That seems huge to me to realise. I actually thought Quinny was dying once, and that's it. Thank fuck I was wrong. And bless pancakes and their timely ability to bring people back from the brink, eh?
Thomas suffered more horror in those two weeks than I did in six years of grief, pain and unhappiness. That's disgusting. And then causing that explosion. And what she did to Quinnt. I don't care if Amaris has Tasha or not anymore, I want her gone anyway. I don't know how that would even be possible, but for someone to do what she did to other human beings... She shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. |
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| Filtered to Quinn and Adrina |
[Sep. 13th, 2009|03:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
Hi, guys.
I was hanging with my friend Godric, and we went to see one of the ladies who auditioned for Spectre's band. Her name is Serenity and she's wonderful. Godric says he's known her since they were really little and she's the best person he knows. Apparently she's been living with her friends because she had a bad boyfriend and doesn't want to go home.
I was wondering...is there a spare room there? She's really lovely and she plays the keyboards (obviously, duh Flynn...) so you all have something in common! She's really arty, and she has a cat named Mr Bojangles, and she makes me laugh. And you know I wouldn't ask if I thought there was any way it could go badly. It's up to you though. Completely. |
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| Friends Only |
[Sep. 10th, 2009|09:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
I have walked Quinn to exhaustion. He's curled on the end of his bed looking strikingly like Booster is his curled up next to him. Maybe I should be worried about that.
I hate that my friend is missing. I hate that not only can I not help, but that I don't know where anyone should start were they to help. I hate that I'm tired and hungry and it matters. I hate that where ever my friend is, she probably has to be there another night.
My shelter got all it's approvals. It can open soon now, after some touch up work and a few more hires. And I wish she knew.
I also hate that I was trained not to care. That had Quinny not retrieved my backpack for me that day I was arrested, so we ended up having a very awkward meeting when he gave it back...I might never had met him and today I would consider this a win. It makes me sick. And ashamed to admit. I do admit it, though. People should see how wrong blind hatred is.
I'm going to make myself a sandwich. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 5th, 2009|08:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
Quinny is okay! He was in a car accident and his tiny little auto ist kaput, but he and his brother are alright and I'm so glad. He's in bed right now and I'm playing nursemaid, a role I am apparently very fit for. Who knew? I brought him cakeys and his books and I played him some songs and he fell asleep.
So now I am sharing something with you, because I am feeling whimsical in my relief. While on tour, Kaitlyn Sommersby (of Ethereal Facade and Deirdre ♥ Kait) and I were kind of playing around with some songs. She plays keys, and I was playing with my guitar instead of my bass. We both liked the Van Halen brothers' song Respect the Wind, so we learned it and we recorded it in the Victoria Lane studio the other day.
And voila
You don't have to download it, you can just let it load on that little player below the download link. It's just guitar and keys, but we're pleased with it. Kait is so incredibly talented. |
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| Friends Only - Posted from Mobile |
[Sep. 4th, 2009|08:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  scared | ] |
Quinn and Eamon were in a car accident! They're at RMMH and I don't knOW WHAT'S HAPPENING BECAUSE THEY WON'T LET ME IN! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2009|07:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
If you think Deirdre's is bad (Efron does rate up there) I would like to share this.
It's funny because it used to be me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2009|05:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nauseated | ] |
Back in London after a mostly successful tour. My Quinn surprised me halfway through by showing up, and then he came back for the special show in Hungary. We flew home together, even if he was asleep the entire time. It was really cute. I, however, could not sleep, because Deirdre saw fit to purchase the world’s biggest Turkish coffee for me as we left Turkey, and so I was jazzed the entire flight home.
I made the mistake of watching The Soloist.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying the movie was bad. In fact, the parts I saw were amazing, but I couldn’t finish it. Someday, maybe.
I’ll explain. The movie is about a reporter who finds a musician living on the streets of LA. The musician attended Julliard, but he never finished, because halfway through he started hearing voices. His name was Nathanial and he was a cellist, but when Mister Robert Downey Junior found him, he was playing a violin with only two strings. Eventually (through plot elements which made me cry) he ends up with a cello again, and he plays it in what was like a shelter for the homeless in LA and they all listen and they’re amazed. Up til that point, the movie was working for me, because I get it, and I know Spectre does too.
Later, Mister Robert Downey Junior looks for the musician again and he’s looking around the crowded streets at all the people and clearly feeling uncomfortable and I had to stop watching it. For some reason, that scene made me so paranoid. I glanced around the airplane to see if anyone else was watching it, because I was suddenly sure that if they saw that scene, they would know I’m a pretender. I’m not the bassist for a popular prog metal band. People don’t pay to come see me and my friends on stage. I’m living someone else’s life and I’m a fake, and I belong on those streets with the rest of them and I was so sure someone would scream it out at the top of their lungs any moment.
Of course, they didn’t. No one was paying attention to me, and even if they had been, it’s ridiculous to think they would think that of me. Because I’m not a pretender, but sometimes I can’t help but feel like one. That movie was more or less my reality for so long (minus the voices, I really promise…and I didn’t have a shopping cart, had a really big backpack…) breaking away from it is sometimes so hard. I have no idea if The Musician has a happy ending. If his voices quiet down, or if his friendship with The Reporter means that it doesn’t matter and Mister Downey Junior was the foot in the door he needed, like Spectre was mine. I do know it was based on a true story and so I hope. I hope so much. And I’m going to keep living my life as best I can, because regardless of where I think I belong, I’m here now.
And if you see a cellist on the streets of LA, say hi for me. And give him a few dollars. He probably needs it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2009|07:59 pm] |
( Revenge )
Don't mess with Flynn when he's friends with your mother. |
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| Friends Only |
[Jul. 26th, 2009|06:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | awake | ] |
My phone ran out of batteries when I was in the middle of a conversation with Quinny!!! I'm so upset!
I'm sorry, Quinn! I love you!
I have yet to feel Deirdre's babies moving, though she consistently grabs my hand throughout the day to shove against her belly. Maybe it's me! :( I talk to them anyway because I want them to know their Uncle Flynn when they're born. Deirdre and I read some kids books we picked up, but then Deirdre cried for two hours about how I should have been the dad. And THEN she laughed for another two, claiming it was hormones.
I'm kind of freaked out, but whatever. |
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| To Those in the Know |
[Jul. 18th, 2009|03:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
I'm really sorry I didn't go.
I heard it was Templar and... Yeah. I couldn't. I'm sorry. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2009|07:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
My Quinny's going to spend a few days staying with me, and we're back home now. It's nice to be back home, even if Lavinia's house is wonderful. Now that I have a place to call home, I am rather attached to it.
I've been working my arse off every second I have free, and we've managed to purchase the building for the shelter! We're getting a lot of things in place, and it's really exciting. Liz has worked her magic, and managed to get us enough funding sources to start up. Now we just need to have inspections, and do some hiring... The leg work needs to be put into it, basically. But it's shaping up and I love it.
I remembered Christmas of 2007, which was right after I came to live with Spectre. I was talking to Erik, and I told him it was the first nice Christmas I was going to have in years and it didn't feel right to keep it to myself, so Quinny and I went to a children's home and we played songs and brought them gifts we had arranged donations for. This is kind of the same thing, but longer lasting. I have stability now, for the first time in a long time.
It's not something I want to keep to myself either. |
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| Friends Only |
[Jun. 28th, 2009|04:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
Been looking for a place to have the shelter since everything else is fucked up beyond measure.
This is the most likely place. We were looking at old hotels, but this is just a really big house that happens to have 25 bedrooms. I think it was set up for a bedsit, but the bedrooms are actually a nice size for what we're looking for. And there are common areas on each floor (and room to convert to office space). The backyard leaves something to be desired, but we can work on it.
( The place )
We've got a budget and more donors, so we're getting there. We have to deal with the legal stuff next, but we have Gabriel Whitney onside, which helps a lot. |
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| Friends Only |
[Jun. 25th, 2009|04:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
I'm a good person.
I'm not being full of myself there. I'm just stating that I know. I didn't know for a long time, but I do now. I'm a good person.
Staying in Dublin for a few nights was the best thing I could have done. It really was. And now I'm going to make a safe place for people who needed help like I did. Peter said the shelter can be partnered with his hospital and Deirdre is going to give money too. We're looking into other businesses who can contribute and Thomas and Quinn found a few good places where we could build it. It's going to be a long process and I'll be touring but Quinny says he'll take care of things while I'm gone. Which will mean it won't be put on hold or anything.
I'm so happy this is happening. |
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| Friends Only |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|09:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
EVERYONE THINKS DEIRDRE'S BABY IS MINE! You should see the fucking forums! Dear fucking GOD, it's not mine! But see, if I say that in public, they'll just believe it more!
I don't like that at all!
I do have to say though, Marilyn is behaving herself beautifully. She didn't once proposition me, nor did she bring up the time she did when I was sixteen. It probably helped that her daughter and niece were there. And Quinn. But it was okay being around her. |
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| Friends Only |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|05:24 pm] |
I don't hate Dublin anymore.
I slept for fourteen hours (oh, blessed sleep) and then I woke up to pancakes. Quinn made them for me. And then we spent all day making good memories. Instead of going home right away after tomorrow, we're going to spend just a few more days here. One or two. Just to work out all our demons.
But today we went to the cafe we used to sit outside of and try to spare change people. And instead of that, we went in. We were served and treated as human. We had money to get whatever we wanted. And I think we both might have gone a little crazy (especially if you saw the pancakes he made me this 'morning'...) but that was healing too. To be able to walk into a place you used to gaze into longingly, and to have the means to buy something...it's so simple, isn't it?
Then we walked around the city centre and we took pictures and went into shops. I bought some CDs and Quinn bought books because he's my little academic. We had fun. We weren't desperate to find a warm place to spend the night, and it wasn't cold anyway. We were laughing and talking and it just felt like another place. Not Dublin, that place I spent the worst years of my life. It was just another place I got to spend time with my Quinn in. It's just another place that gives me hope, and that makes me want to create change.
( Pictures ) |
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| Filtered to Tristan |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|01:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | thoughtful | ] |
I'm in Dublin and it's brought up some bad memories. Like almost losing you. And Quinny and I have spent all day making good memories so this place won't be tainted anymore, but while we were walking around, I remembered that day wasn't all bad. I mean, yeah it was...
You quacked at me. You gave me hope and strength and everything turned out alright. That's the feeling I want to remember when I think of Dublin. Not fear or lonliness. Not cold or hunger or despair. I want to remember hope. I want to remember my friends came for me, because they refused to let me go. I never had that before. They came and they faced danger, and we got through it.
I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you. And thank you. And I love you. |
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| Friends Only |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|03:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  beyond exhausted | ] |
I am so tired I think I'm hallucinating... I swear I saw Quinn kissing Johnny Depp. But maybe that was just a very, very, very, very nice dream... |
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| To Those in the Know |
[May. 31st, 2009|11:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  angry | ] |
Adrina came home. She's not hurt. But she was sort of...attacked by a woman. Who made her pass out.
That just says demon to me. |
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| Friends Only |
[May. 20th, 2009|11:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Shy | ] |
Dude.
Some lady wants to interview me. Me. Why?! I'm not Spectre or Deirdre. I have nothing to say! Why in the world would someone want to interview me?!
I'm going to hide under my bed forever now. |
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| Friends Only |
[May. 8th, 2009|01:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  restless | ] |
Guns suck. |
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| Friends Only, not Reagan or Fable |
[Apr. 28th, 2009|05:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
Right.
First of all, I was not in Reagan's bed, I was on her sofa. And I was not asleep, I was unconscious. And if people want to stop knocking me out, that would be okay with me!
For fuck's sake. Apparently there's a thing I'm supposed to be doing, and I didn't do it fast enough. And now my head hurts and my IDs, money...everything in my wallet is being held for ransom.
My plectrum from Spectre is in there :(
Stupid arsehats. And I'm not entirely pleased that I was unconscious in the presence of Reagan. She's sort of shifty. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2009|08:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nervous | ] |
Holy fuck, are you all watching this thing on the news? About the bank?
Holy fuck... |
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| Friends Only |
[Apr. 21st, 2009|07:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Very Tired Now | ] |
My life is not boring.
Today I met a lovely young man named Godric. Not Gryffindor. I shopped for antiques. I touched a breast pump from 1943. I was awkward and Godric thought I was trying to make a move on him. And I stopped an armed robbery of said antique store, managing to save Godric not Gryffindor's life in the process.
Oh and I bought a tricycle for James. It's pink with streamers. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2009|08:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
I love Quinn. |
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| Filtered to Renee |
[Apr. 11th, 2009|12:10 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
Hey. I was reading over old entries. I don't know why. All that stuff from when Quinn was hurt just...it still breaks my heart and I remember how I felt then and it hurts. But then I read this.
You know...I've kept my mouth shut about this whole thing with you and Scarlett and Deirdre because I love you all. Well I don't know Scarlett well, but I like her. And I didn't really feel like opening my mouth because I didn't think it was my business. But I read what you said there on that post and...you were there for me when I needed someone to talk to about liking Tristan...no. Not liking, loving. And then when I told him about it and I was flipping out, you held my hand and calmed me down. And you not only listened to me, you made me feel okay when I was worried people would hate me for loving someone else.
I don't think any of our friends would. And if, by some small chance anyone did, I would help them understand. They love you, Flynn, and they want you to be loved.
I can't say I'm not worried about the speed at which this happened, Renee. But only because I worry for you. But I love you and I want you to be loved. And I honestly believe Deirdre isn't capable of that right now. Which, I think was sort of her point. Scarlett is capable of it and it's clear she loves you.
I don't know if I can help anyone understand, but I will try because you were willing to do that for me. To be honest, I understand Deirdre's pain too. I really do. But in the end, you have to do what's right for you.
Thank you, Renee. For taking such care of me then. I really needed it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2009|11:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sore | ] |
I fucking fell and broke my goddamn pinky finger. I'm such a dick. It hurts and I feel like an idiot whining over it when it's the smallest finger!
My friend Dr. Abby says it'll heal okay though. I'll live to play another day. Thank everything for that. |
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| Friends Only |
[Apr. 7th, 2009|10:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
Because apparently my boyfriend feels the need to ask over and over and over (because he is wonderful)...
No. No I did not sell myself when I was on the street for all of less than a week. No I wasn't attacked or mugged or even robbed. I was cold and terribly hungry, but what can you expect, eh? I ate at Deirdre's house and that was pretty much it. But Spectre fed me a vertiable feast when I got back to London! I think he gave me 5 different kinds of sandwiches. And a cookie.
I think the worst experience I had before the PIRA showed up, was trying to go to a library and being told to leave. With disgust. Like I was...you know...homeless. It was dehumanising. That was something I hadn't felt in a long time. And I tried to explain that I had email (which I was checking to find Deirdre's holiday home address) and I suppose I really can't blame the guy for not believing me. But it still hurt.
Next time someone small changes you on the street or whatever...and yes, I know it's not a great deal of fun...but remember there's a person in there, okay? |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2009|05:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
This is why you shouldn't lipsynch... |
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| Filtered to Tristan |
[Mar. 25th, 2009|02:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | angry | ] |
Tristan,
I had to go away for a little while until all of this madness settles down. I couldn't bare to bring it down on you or Quinn or anyone again. Not after last time.
I won't be gone forever. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and goodbye. And I'll see you soon.
I love you.
Flynn |
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| Private |
[Mar. 24th, 2009|10:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
I should leave. But I promised Quinn I would tell him if I was ever going through something, even if it was something I didn't want to tell him for his own good. I can't break a promise to him.
Fuck. |
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| Friends Only |
[Mar. 23rd, 2009|09:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
i'll pay for the window.
i'm so sorry. |
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| Friends Only |
[Mar. 22nd, 2009|08:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | angry | ] |
Whoever's been calling me didn't hang up today. They asked for Malachy O'Reilly. I said I wasn't him. I'm not any more, even if I used to be. And they said changing my name doesn't change me, nor does it keep my family safe. I was out with James so I hung up and brought him back here. There's an alarm system here and it's safe. I just needed you all to know.
Apparently it just never fucking ends, and everyone who knows me is just fucking doomed to deal with this shite forever. I fucking knew it too. Argh. |
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| Friends Only |
[Mar. 21st, 2009|09:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
Did anyone call me and hang up like...13 times today? From a private number?
I'm having a shitty day, so I'm copying Stephie and Jinx. Here goes.
( Quiz Thing ) |
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| Friends Only |
[Mar. 16th, 2009|10:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | discontent | ] |
ARGH!
It's just...argharghargh! Those kids just don't understand... I certainly didn't. |
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Helpless